Like death with a beating heart

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Recently when I meditate I encounter a curtain of ignorance so dense and thick, as to make my concentration crash into it like a tiny boat into a huge reef …I am cast away into a clogged blackness for a substantial period of time. There in this blackness I am not knowing at all what is happening to me – I do not recognize or feel myself, I do not ask questions or seek for answers, I forget to meditate, I forget that I forgot, I don’t know that I forgot and I don’t know that I don’t know. I do not know of my existence and I do not know that I experience it – my very being is exhausted and my life are being lived by themselves, as my awareness, the knowing I are completely anesthetized.

I feel that there are such forms of existence in lower planes of misery, which are unawarely and incessantly driven by life in this blackness as a buoy is by the waves of a huge turbulent ocean, and are even unaware to the fact that they suffer deep and tremendous misery.
I feel that there are humans in this state of consciousness, as in a dreamless sleep, as in a coma without the beep, as in death with a beating heart.